Recalculating
by BittersweetSonata
Summary: Lucy learns why you should never take directions from a GPS named Zeref. And also, that sometimes a girl's knight-in-shining-armor could be a pink-headed pyro in an old Chevelle.


**AU. No magic. **

** DISCLAIMER: I do not, nor will I ever, own Fairy Tail or any of its associated characters. They belong to the amazing Hiro Mashima. Nor do I own any of the brands listed in this story, _yet. _As to whether I'm promoting them, I'll just leave that to you to decide. **

** Pairings: NaLu (main), Jerza, Gruvia, GaLe, and maybe some side pairings. **

** Unbeta'd. So there are probably spelling/grammar mistakes/errors. Sorry about that. **

Chapter One

Testing One, Two

_{Well, this may have been a bad idea} _

* * *

"It's here!" the blonde squealed, flinging her front door open.

Her eager chocolate orbs locked onto the form of a small cardboard box marked 'Amazon' that was lying on her front step. A large smile spread over her face as she snatched the box up and slammed her door. She ran back to her dining room table – where she had been waiting for her package to arrive – and laid the box on the flat surface.

The blonde grabbed a knife from the block sitting on her kitchen counter and grinned down at the package. She slipped the blade into the split between the cardboard flaps, and cut through the tape. She dropped the knife and it clattered onto the hard wooden tabletop as she reached her hands into the bow, and pulled out a small device.

Her brown eyes sparkled as she observed the TomTom in her hands, and she picked her cellphone up off the table and dialed her best friend's number.

"Hey Levy, it came!"

Lucy Heartfilia was directionally challenged, or so she'd been told on several occasions, and since she and four of her best friends were planning on going on a roadtrip before her scarlet-haired friend's wedding, and they were taking her car, she decided that she needed to do something about it.

So when the blonde had seen the ad for a GPS that was actually within her price range – if not under her price range – she snatched the opportunity up in an instant. It had been a grand one, the ad popping up just when she was about to lose all hope of finding a navigation system in her price range. Then, one for TomToms on clearance suddenly showed up on her laptop screen and that was that.

It had been quite the steal, in her opinion, and it came none too soon, because they were leaving in three days.

And Erza Scarlet – soon to be Fernandez – would absolutely _murder _her if something went wrong with her navigation skills, which it most likely would, and thus the reason she purchased the GPS system.

Now she was worry free! Everything would be fine because she had a GPS now, and it could tell her where to turn and when! This trip would be a piece of the strawberry cake her bride-to-be friend loved almost more than her fiancée! She would nail this!

If only the blonde knew what that piece of technology would get her into. If she did know, then she would have made a trip down to her local tech store instead of clicking on the seedy-looking ad.

Lucy decided to take her new TomTom for a test run, just to make sure everything was honkey-dory and up to par. The blonde hooked the GPS system to her cerulean Kia Forte, and slid into the driver's seat. She smiled to herself as she gripped the steering wheel and inserted the car key into the ignition. The engine rumbled to life and the author put the car in reverse, backing it out of her cobblestone driveway and onto the pavement.

She had programmed her destination – Fairy Tail – into the GPS, and she was ready to go. She actually knew how to get to the café, so she could get there anyway if her new TomTom sent her in the wrong direction – _maybe. _The blonde also had a lunch date with her friends at the café to work out the final details for their trip, so there was that too.

Lucy turned the radio on and Florence's lovely voice singing 'Cosmic Love' filled the air as the GPS on her dash gave her instructions.

"Turn right." the TomTom directed, causing the blonde to raise a brow.

Normally, if she was going to Fairy Tail from her house, she turned off of Strawberry Street and stayed on Main until she reached Fairy Lane, which was where the restaurant was located. But now, her GPS was telling her to turn on Orange Street – which branched off of Strawberry Street – and that was what made her begin to question the piece of technology on her dash.

Deciding that maybe this was some new and possibly faster way to reach her destination, the blonde did as the GPS instructed, and turned right.

Boy, was she ever wrong.

After making several more and slightly confusing turns, and driving for forty-five minutes around town, Lucy ended up in the parking lot of her favorite clothing store, Heart Kruez.

And because of that, she ended up being thirty minutes late to her lunch meeting, at which she had to deal with an extremely stressed and slightly furious bride-to-be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And _that_, almost cost the blonde her dignity.

The second test proved to be even more…well, testing.

It was the day before they were leaving for their trip, and the blonde decided she needed to work out the obvious kinks in her navigation system. Thinking that maybe she'd accidentally programmed it wrong, she consulted the instruction manual, which she'd previously read, to see if it offered any help to her distressing situation.

It had absolutely no light whatsoever to offer on the subject.

So she just decided to wing it.

However, Lucy was pretty sure that her favorite bookstore did not reside in a field outside of Magnolia.

She should have known.

She should have known _not _to click on that suspicious ad that claimed TomToms were on clearance for only four hundred jewels. She should have known from the moment it arrived and she had carefully lifted it out of the packaging. She should have known from the ridiculous cost of shipping.

That…that…_thing_ was the incarnation of the devil. It was made of pure evil, bent on destroying the world and all that dwelled within it. It sent her miles out of her way, gave her the wrong directions, and didn't even direct her to her destination.

And worst of all, when she'd tried to reset it a third time, that piece of junk had locked itself into whatever crazy settings it wanted and she couldn't change it no matter what she tried. This had led to the blonde almost crashing into the garbage truck on its usual run on Wednesday around ten in the morning.

That little incident had scared her half to death. Her two month-old Forte, the ultimate evil that was her GPS system, and herself had all almost been done for.

Lucy wasn't sure if that _thing_ on her dash that was the embodiment of evil was _trying _to get her killed and make her life miserable, or if this was all some really long nightmare she was having brought upon her by the stress of her life situation at this point in time.

She _really_ prayed it was the second option. But, after painfully pinching herself on the arm several times, she realized that it was the first. Lying in bed that night after the TomTom on her dash had almost gotten her killed, she'd dubbed it Zeref. After the evil man who'd tried to destroy the country of Fiore seventy-seven years before her time.

Not wishing to leave her younger sister Wendy both parentless and siblingless, the blonde had turned Zeref off the next morning, hoping that maybe, just _maybe, _her poor excuse for navigation skills could make up for a GPS'.

In any case, they were certainly better than the ones Zeref had been dishing out for the past few days.

The blonde sighed as she loaded her last suitcase into her Forte's trunk and slammed the back shut. Her best friend Levy McGarden stood next to her with a clipboard, checking off items on a list of what they needed to bring.

"Suitcases." the short blunette read off.

"Check." Lucy mumbled, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

Levy marked the seven letter word off the list. "Money for food, gas, and anything else we might need."

"Check." Erza Scarlet, the bride-to-be, informed, holding up a rather large wad of jewels.

"Good, good." the small twenty-three-year-old nodded, marking it off the list. "Tire jack, spare tire, toolbox, and other tools for changing a flat."

"Got it." Cana Alberona smirked, patting the trunk.

Levy nodded once more. "Okay, let's see. Does everyone have their cellphone?"

"Of course." Juvia Lockser smiled, holding up her pink bubble cased iPhone. "Juvia would never forget hers."

"Same here." the other four young women, including Levy, echoed.

"Well, I think we're good then. Lu's got a GPS now, so we should be fine on that end." the vertically challenged blunette nodded to herself, missing the nervous look on her blonde friend's face.

Cana pumped a fist in the air. "Yes! Look out all of Fiore! Here we come!"

They were all about to climb into the blonde's Kia, when a familiar-looking twelve-year-old girl came running down the sidewalk, wildly waving her arms. The five young women stopped as they observed the navy blue-haired girl come closer, her face red and flushed.

Most likely from running three blocks, her older sister speculated.

Wendy Marvel came to a stop in front of the blonde, greedily taking large gulps of the cool autumn, Thursday morning air. Lucy waited until the girl had caught her breath and straightened out her long dark hair and white dress before questioning her.

"Wendy, I thought you were staying at Chelia's? I specifically remember talking with Sherry about you staying there for two weeks." Lucy raised a brow and crossed her arms.

Her adopted younger sister smiled nervously. "U-um, well, Sherry had to go on an important trip for work all of a sudden, and she took Chelia with her, of course. S-so, I can't really stay there…" she fidgeted with her fingers.

The blonde sighed and turned to her four friends. "Well?"

"Can she stay with someone else?" Levy asked, tilting her head.

Lucy shrugged. "Who else is there?"

Juvia tapped her chin. "Juvia suggests Mira-jane or Lisanna."

"Oh hey! That's a great idea!" Levy nodded in approval.

The blonde sighed and shook her head. "Mira's away on business for Makarov, and Lisanna's sick."

"Oh."

"Oh! What about Natsu?" Levy suggested suddenly, her almond-colored orbs sparkling.

All four young women turned to her in shock while Wendy watched.

"Are you serious?!" Cana asked in disbelief. "Have you _seen _his house?! It's like a tornado came through after a tsunami hit during a 9.9 earthquake!"

The taller and bustier blunette held up a finger. "J-Juvia thinks that Natsu would be a good guardian." said girl protested weakly.

"Well so do I," Cana nodded, "but not without help. A _woman's _help." she added the last part quickly.

Levy looked a little dejected. "W-well I just thought, because you know, he's Lucy's best guy friend, a-and…"

"It was a good suggestion." Lucy nodded. "But I don't really feel comfortable with leaving Wendy with a guy. I'd prefer someone like one of you."

"Azlack, Bisca, and Asuka are on vacation." Erza noted.

The blonde nodded. "I know." she glanced at her younger sister, then back at her friends. "What if Wendy came with us? It's not like we're going to be doing anything wild, despite what Cana may think."

Levy nodded. "I wouldn't mind."

"Juvia wouldn't either."

Cana shrugged. "I don't see why the kid can't come."

Erza nodded, smiling. "Wendy _is _part of the wedding party after all, it would be rude of us to leave her out."

Lucy turned to the younger girl. "Well Wen, it looks like you're coming with us."

Wendy's eyes lit up with excitement. "R-really?"

Her older sister nodded. "I guess your suitcase is still back at Sherry's house?" the girl nodded. "Climb in the car, and we'll drive over to get it."

As the navy-haired girl was buckling herself in the backseat, a crimson '70 Chevlle parked along the sidewalk. Cana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she leaned against Lucy's Kia. "Speak of the devil, and he shall appear." she muttered.

Levy looked up with a confused expression. "Wait…" she whispered. "I thought that was Erza?"

Natsu Dragneel walked up Lucy's lawn and over to the blonde. Lucy smiled at him, and he returned her smile with a grin of his own.

"Natsu, what are you doing here?" she questioned.

He ran a hand through his unruly rosy hair. "Just coming to see you off. You _sure _you don't want me to come along?"

"It's a _bridal _party road trip! As in, bridesmaids! Just because you're a groomsman, doesn't mean you can come!" Cana shouted.

Natsu rolled his eyes and Lucy fought a smile. "It's okay, we'll survive. I'm sure."

He gave her a lopsided smirk. "If you're so sure, than alright. Just remember to call if anything goes wrong or you need something."

The blonde waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah. I know." she called as she walked over to her Forte.

Natsu cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey Lucy?" he called.

"Yeah?" she looked up from buckling her seatbelt.

"Remember to watch for your exits!" he reminded.

She rolled her eyes. "I know, I will, _mom._"

"And Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful!" he yelled as she pulled out of the drive.

"That's rich coming from you!" she shouted back, not being able to fight the smile tugging at her lips.

Cana snorted from the backseat. "Just marry him already."

The blonde turned a bright pink at the brunette's comment.

Natsu watched from Lucy's yard as the six girls drove off, all of them completely unaware of what lie ahead of them.

* * *

**I don't know what I'm doing anymore. **

** This story came to me because yesterday one of my friends was telling me about this story she was reading and how this GPS was causing these friends problems and complications and making sounds and talking. All that jazz. And I suddenly remembered this Hetalia story I'd read a while back about Alfred (America) buying a TomTom online and it seriously malfunctioning and he named it Hitler and somehow he ends up involved in an anti-terrorist operation because of it. **

** It's hilarious, really. **

** And then there all my past experiences with GPS systems. I used to go to this private school, and we went on this field trip, and I rode with one of the teachers and another girl, and we ended up getting 'lost' on the way home because of construction and her (the teacher's) damn GPS somehow got us stuck in this private gated neighborhood for filthy rich people and we spent the next forty-five minutes going in circles because we couldn't figure out how the hell to get out and her GPS kept repeating 'Recalculating', and when it would finally come around, it'd give us the same stupid directions we'd been following and it got us absolutely nowhere and so we kept going in circles. **

** We're not even going to go into some of the other stories I have about GPS systems. **

** _Anyway, _I thought this would be a fun idea to follow up with, and so I typed this out. **

** It was fun. **

** Please favorite, follow, and review, if you'd like. I know I'd like it. Also, I'd love it if you mentioned any crazy stories about GPS systems that you may have in your reviews. It'd make my day. **

** Ja ne!**

** - Sonata-chan**


End file.
